“There is HELP”

I have this listed here because I know exactly what it feels like to suffer. Below will be “helpline numbers” if additional help is needed.

PTSD- VETERAN’S CRISIS HELPLINE: 1-877-969-0967

U.S.A.

ADDICTION CRISIS HELPLINE: 1-855-485-2381

U.S.A.

MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE: 1-855-750-4332

U.S.A.

SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE IN THE U.K.

08457 90 90 90

💜”These are free and confidential just for you”!💜

“My Story”

This is my story.

Just a little about me…💜

I have suffered with Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD ever since I was little. I’m 37 and still learning about myself and still trying to cope. I’ve come a long way though through the years and having support helps. A support system behind you makes a huge difference. When I was little, I had major separation anxiety, and the fear of being abandoned was very strong. I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and that really messed up my life- drinking, promiscuous sex, pills- it altered and ran my life for many years. Anything I could do to NOT feel my pain. Partying it up, anything to get a high or buzz. Anyone I could get my hands who would have sex with me just so I wasn’t feeling a thing. 2015, 2016, and 2017 were hard for me-especially 15, and 16, I knew I had to change my life. Its still a major struggle but my life is not out of control as it once was. Hurting my family was hard to admit and even harder to watch what I was causing them. My anxiety and depression is so hard for me to verbally express what I am feeling. My therapist has really been helping with this…I greatly struggle with anger issues- ever since I was little. I have a lot of anger inside of me and I try to control that, although its not easy. I’m now married and my husband supports me and is always by my side- Sometimes I don’t make it easy for him and I can be hard to love…

“You are not alone.”

You aren’t alone in your own struggles. You have to have support. Knowing you’re not alone in this and having support is major- I will continue to refer to this a lot throughout this blog because its crucial. When I was traumatized when I was young, it forced me inside of myself and I withdrew. Feeling alone was what I knew. This perhaps is true of you too. We get hurt, suffer from Trauma and we stay alone. Especially if there is no one to comfort us. Our guard is up all the time. And Suicide is often thought about. I myself attempted it a couple times. The pain becomes too much to bear. You aren’t by yourself in this. You are not weak for having these feelings. Writing poetry and journaling really helps me. Perhaps this may help you too. My writing pages on Instagram are my expressive worlds. Find what works for you. My life has always been a rollercoaster and complicated but I go one day at a time and helping others to express their feelings helps me too. I am a warrior and a fighter and so are you!

Love,

💜Neesa💜

“PTSD & the Holidays”

December 1, 2019

💜Hi All!💜

Well, Thanksgiving is over and Christmas 2019 is fast-approaching. Its stressful enough with family & friends & with so much to do. But its also a real struggle when you have PTSD & Mental Illness. Happy times of year surrounded by those you love are important. Memories are beautiful…however, it can be overwhelming & there can be “Triggers” around the corner.

Family & friends are constantly coming & going during the month of December. People too can be a “trigger” to us. (In this article we will read what can help us.)

Is there certain family members who are a bad memory for you? Or from your past that “could” ignite feelings & flashbacks that you don’t want to have during this time…?

People that you’ll see do matter. It matters to YOUR mental health & sanity. It can change your moods & mental state rather quickly causing you to miss out on “you” time. For me personally, I struggle. I have to push through; sometimes faking it to get through- but I’ll come back to that later on. 💓

What we’re going to focus on now is “bad vibes” & feeling “uncomfortable” from pain you might have endured from your past perhaps by a family member or trusted friend- therefore causing your PTSD to go in overdrive. Its already a mess. You’re already dreading the Holidays-your anxiety is rising; What can be done so its not even worse? We can still see family & eat with them- we can see our loved ones when we know others won’t be there or around. But what if this isn’t possible? What if ALL family will be there? Try removing yourself from the situation- taking your leave if necessary so its not overwhelming for you in the moment & take a minute to breathe.

Seeing certain people can bring out trauma. Dealing with stress during the holidays is hectic. There are memories & wounds you don’t want to re-open or have to remember. PTSD is…by itself bad enough. If you choose not to attend a family gathering & you KNOW you CAN’T do it, then just listen to your instinct & don’t go. Don’t force yourself. You are under no obligation & there’s nothing wrong with that.

Oversized celebration events can be hard too in a sense that there can be a lot of people attending. Too many people can be a “trigger”. Try attending small parties if you prefer. Making the group smaller. Being all alone for this time of year & struggling with our mental health is rough. Some have no family at all, some have family that won’t talk to them- making them feel worthless inside. The PTSD makes it worse. Suicide is high during the Holidays & those of us who suffer think differently & are wired differently- we feel emotional pain much stronger than others do. We are delicate & beautiful. We do the best we can. We can succeed. We just need support & close friends & family you understand.

You are “not” alone. Don’t feel you are all on your own. Mental illness is hard to cope with- especially through the holidays. I struggle personally with my dark mind all the time. If I can’t handle something, I just don’t do it. Know your limits. Know your boundaries. Don’t be afraid. Our self-care is crucial. Enjoy the happy moments in life! You WILL heal…!

“Holiday Triggers”

1.) People are alone with no one during the holidays- call a close friend so you have someone.

2.) Going to a family party- know when to take your leave if your PTSD & Anxiety is overwhelming you with too many people mingling around.

3.) Don’t let your past Trauma destroy your holiday. Keep yourself busy and make sure you know in advance who is attending the dinner(s) so you are not greatly triggered.

DM me anytime on Instagram at: @aprettylittleaddict!

Love,

💜 Neesa 💜

“Learn to Love Yourself Despite Trauma”

“Self-love is one of the best things you can do for yourself. However, trauma changes things once we’re traumatized. Any sort of Trauma we may experience leaves us so empty. Its hard to feel confident and self-worth. Its hard to love who you once were before the event took over your life. Taking care of “you” is a challenge for many. Trauma, assult, pain takes that from you. If we were once posotive, bubbly people and then we are victimized\traumatized- This can pose great challenges.

Don’t compare your healing with others. Try not to worry about what others think of you…because they have no clue of what you endured. And how “strong” you really are. There are ways and skills you can use to help you. Learn about “you”. Learn new things about “you”. Take gentle time on yourself. Loving yourself after Trauma that took a huge chunk of you can be difficult. Take your time…breathe….It’s alright…because you’re trying to heal and begin to piece yourself back together. Even if what you went through was a long time ago…this article WILL help you…! 💜

You’re trying to begin a new again.”

What does this mean?

This means assessing the difficulties you have been through, accepting them, and learning how to adapt. The most you can do after any Trauma is adapt because you certainly can’t go back. Even if you find that you feel you are empty and never good enough, believe me- you are enough! Trauma feels like it takes our lives over. But loving yourself after your horrific experience does not mean “leaving” yourself; It does not mean giving up, giving in, or giving yourself away. Don’t keep yourself locked up inside, or separated from the world. You will never be the same after surviving Trauma. And while some may find that to be a curse, consider it a blessing because you have battle wounds! You have scars that have purpose, that have meaning…you have stories flowing through your veins! Stories you can “share” with the rest of the world! You can be someone else’s light!

1.) Do not hide yourself or your Trauma for others, but embrace it.

You will see yourself as an entirely different person. You’re not the same. People that you meet may wonder why you’re guarded. Or why you act the way that you do. This isn’t a reflection of you- So don’t let this hurt you. It just takes time. You may not “love others” as easily as they may love you and that’s alright…:) Don’t hide your soul. Embrace you. Embrace your struggles. Embrace who YOU ARE! You are a fighter for a reason! And you CAN help others heal too, when you’re ready. Keep in mind also that you may choose to only have a “few” friends. You may be scared to keep friends close. You may not have many friends, and its perfectly alright. Do you have a hard time expressing your feelings? I still do myself. Its very difficult. I hate trying to express my feelings to someone personally. You may feel the same…and its alright…💜

Learn to love yourself gently…take your time. Only you know the best way to protect yourself. However, do not “overprotect” yourself. You NEED to allow yourself to have the Love of others. Committ to yourself and your healing. Remember, you ARE A FIGHTER…! You fought your way through agony and terror. Be proud of that! 🙂 Embrace you! Embrace your healing and recovery.

2.) Do not leave yourself.

Learning to love yourself is about finding happiness despite Trauma.

You will not be open as you once were. You will find that you may struggle with Anxiety and Depression-finding “Happiness after darkness” is not easy as a sunrise. It doesn’t happen casually overnight. It will take you many cold winters and it will take you many cold evenings to withdraw negative feelings from within yourself. “That is okay”…

Removing negativity=pure happiness. “Once the sun does rise and the moon no longer feels eerie, when the birds suddenly start chirping and the sunset doesn’t feel as cold in the winter, that is when you will find happiness.”

Just know it will take time. Use this time to create Art, to better yourself, to work through your pain. Do anything that will let you exude those feelings elsewhere, and when you find such happiness, do not let it go…!

“Loving yourself after heartbreak and trauma is a new beginning to love others. Its taking these emotions, these heartbreaks, the physical pain of endless nights of tears, and then channeling this into loving someone else.”

3.) Learn to express your emotions.

Learn to express your emotions. Learn to “love” others. This world cannot be a better place without you, and you must share everything you are with the world. Do not feel that you are all alone because you are definitely not alone!

Learning to love yourself after such trauma is learning that bad can be what makes the world good. Its learning that the world would not be the same without what you have been through. You are strong. Turn your pain into power.” -Neesa

Now, you may feel like you’re the only one who has been through what you have. But I assure you- you are “not” alone! You are not alone in your experiences. You’re learning how to connect, how to inspire, and how to still hope for a better world. And how to heal every step of the way. You are “everything” that makes this world good.

You are going to be okay…

You will learn to love who you are- even despite trauma!

💓Neesa💓

“Staying Sober During The Holidays”

9 Tips To Stay Sober During The Holiday Months For Those In Recovery- Weather You’ve Been Sober For 30 Years Or 3 Months. 🙂

We have you covered.

Pick your Holiday events wisely. 🙂 Don’t stress. Opt for joyful activities like baking, decorating with the family, playing in the snow with the little ones…:)

Parties, family dinners, holiday open houses, and 24\7 socializing. From Thanksgiving & Thanksgiving weekend to New Year’s- this poses special challenges for those in recovery from Alcohol & Drug addiction. Holiday triggers lerk everywhere…the first few years are the roughest for newly recovering people.

Below are the 9 tips.

1.) Rewrite your Recovery Vocabulary.

Stay in the present right now; focus on today. Instead of using the word “Relapse” use the word “Reoccurrence”. Change your mindset.

2.) Stay connected with people who support your Recovery.

This can be anyone. Your bf or gf, your bff, your neighbor, or close family member. Having soul support will help you. This is crucial! Stay connected to them!

3) Keep Distracted. Make a list of fun things to do during this season that have “nothing” to do with drugs or alcohol.

Focus on the fun with the family and kids. Decorate, Do Arts n’ Crafts, Do some fun Shopping, etc.

4.) Plan your “Exit” Plan.

Take your leave if need be. Make sure your own car is available. Get some air.

5.) Rethink your Holiday Obligations.

You are NOT “obligated” to attend any parties. Don’t allow family or co-workers to “trigger” you. Do what is comfortable for you.

6.) Rehearse your script to manage pushy people.

You owe NO explanation. If people are pushing you into drinking with them or doing drugs with them and you say no and they still won’t listen, just simply walk away. (If they truly care about you they will take your recovery into consideration and will support you.)

7.) “Bookend” your support system.

Before a holiday party on the same day, maybe go to an AA meeting or a NA meeting. Explain to the group what you’re doing and that you’re headed to a party. Then go back to the meeting after the party- explaining how it went. Or you can always call a trusted friend or “meet” with that friend somewhere. 🙂

8.) Have an Exit strategy for events that may turn stressful.

Leave early if need be.

Ask a friend to call you at a “specific time”…excuse yourself. Catch a breather.

9.) Address your potential “Reoccurrence Triggers” ahead of time.

Holidays have their “triggers” that could lead to excess. Just breathe. Are you extra vulnerable? Did you just lose a loved one? Did you just break up with someone? Its close to the holidays; So talk about it. Talk about what you’re feeling with a trusted friend.

This can help you cope. You’ve got this!

Be safe this season!

💜Love, Neesa💜

💔”Emotional Abuse”💔

“Unless you are a survivor of emotional abuse you have no idea what it means to fight daily battles in your head with a person you no longer have contact with. Verbal, emotional & physical abuse have residual affects on the victim. You don’t “just get over it”. “

Does this sound familiar?

Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that is often experienced in an abusive relationship. Weather its mild or to the extreme- Although it doesn’t leave you with physical scars, it can have a huge impact on your confidence & self-esteem. I know this well.

Are you hurting…? Are you suffering…? Emotional abuse can come in many forms, which might not be obvious at first. If you feel that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, there are a number of things you can do to receive support.

1.) Do you feel like you’re not good enough?

2.) Are you afraid of your parner\spouse leaving you?

3.) Does your spouse or partner call you names or put you down?

Many unhealthy relationship s involve aspects of emotional abuse. And it can be a nightmare. The abusers aim is to slowly chip away at your feelings and self-worth and independence. Do you feel that there is no way out or that without your partner, you’ll have nothing?

Emotional abuse can have “very” damaging affects just the same as physical abuse.

“PTSD” can also be a direct result from suffering this abuse. It can severely impact your mental health. Its called: “Power”. The abuser wants the power & control- dishing out abuse towards the victim as a form of control. Choosing to walk away from this & say “Enough” takes great courage. No matter how much the abuse is or how minor it can still have “lasting affects” and “Scars”.

However, I am here to tell YOU that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You CAN fight back! Depression & Suicidal ideation are a struggle in this web. 😦 Please reach out! Reach out to someone whom you trust & to someone who is safe.

There are a number of services that can help you as well. You do not have to fight this battle alone. This is what Ive learned….”Its not our faults” to be treated like this. You can OWN the power. Take a step forward, love who you are & make a healthy move. You’ve got this!

Love,♥ Neesa♥

💜”NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE-HOTLINE:

1-800-799-7233💜

(Research for this article was found on Google.)

“She is Broken”

Hey Followers, 💜

I’m writing on my Blog to help you as I’m helping myself to heal too. I really hope this helps you guys.💜

Ive been broken and sad for a long time. I am doing all I can to heal. I’ve actually come a long way in my life; however, there are still parts of me that feel a lot of pain.

I’ve lost, been hurt, destroyed and have destroyed others in the process; It seems as though I can’t walk into someone’s life without hurting them deeply. I’m sweet until you really get to know me….:( I tend to cause damage everywhere that I go.

Causing others pain & tears. Everyone around me sees the good that I do, the heart that I have, and the loyalty that I show…but when it comes to relationships, it never lasts. I may feel heartbroken but Im NOT going to quit!

I will be strong and so can you!

Love You All!

Neesa💜

“Cutting” ♥ TW♥

Hi Beautiful Souls!

It took me a long time to stop Cutting and even now, I still will have the urge to cut my skin to relieve my pain and anxiety. But I’m here to tell you that recovery is possible. You are worth it.

There will be more articles in the future on how to recover fron this addiction illness…and how to deal with a relapse. You are more than just a lonely soul with a razor blade.

Love,

Neesa💜🌼💜

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